Killing the Flesh

It's crazy how sometimes we think we know everything, but in reality we are absolutely way off base. We go through are daily lives thinking that everything is perfectly normal and that we have it all figured out. We don't need help, we are capable of doing it all on are own. Man are we wrong. Do you ever question your salvation, especially when you have that one sin in your life that, no matter how hard you try to force it, no matter what you try to put in its place, it just will not go away. Do you ever think, "Hey maybe I don't really know what I think I know about Jesus?" All these thoughts have been going through my mind lately. I'm trying to figure out ways to raise five thousand dollars to go to Germany this summer. I'm just getting used to living on my own, away from my parents, in some strange town. I'm trying to keep up my grades, so that I can stay in college. I'm trying to make new friends and keep up with my old ones. I'm trying to live this christian life as best I know how to, even when I know that I am going to mess up. But then it hits me. As I am trying to sleep after another long day of pondering what I should do next. It really isn't even about me. It's about a God that loves me unconditionally. It's about a God that is so jealous for glory that he waits until the exact time we need him most, to come and whisper in our ear: "Be still and know that I am God." I don't always understand everything. I don't want to most of the time but I serve a King who is taking care of it all. That's what this past couple of weeks has been about for me. Yeah I still don't know how I am going to come up with five thousand dollars for this summer. Yeah I still have to get used to college life. Yeah it's going to be tough sometimes, but through it all we just have to have faith that God who became fully human and was still fully God, that came and die on a cross with my name on his heart, has everything under control.