The Way We Worship

Man this week has been really stressful. I have had a ton of homework, and a couple tests to study for. It sometimes seems like it can be too much at times. This Sunday, as I walked into our Sunday night Overflow service, I was just feeling tired from the stress of last week and trying to prepare myself for what I had to do this week. I didn't really talk to many people before hand and just kinda sat there wishing I had stayed in bed. But then as the band started to play, I decided to stand up and sing a little to maybe pick up my spirits. I sang along with most of the three or four songs, but really didn't put a whole lot of emphasis into it. Then Scott came up to give his message for the week and started it off by saying that he had been really busy this week and that God had really been laying something on his heart and he felt like God wanted him to say something to this group. He read the passage out of Isaiah, where Isaiah has a vision that he is in the presence of God and realizes that he is unclean. He talked about how most times when we come in the presence of God, we don't humble ourselves and see ourselves as unclean before the perfectness (if that's a word) that is God. I really felt like God was talking to me, because usually (and I guess, at times, most of the church does this) I just sing the songs I know or that I like but really it shouldn't be about the songs that we sing but who we are singing them to. So after Scott was done and the band began to play, I knelt down before God Almighty and humbled myself before him. After I did this, I had a new sense of passion. It didn't matter that I can't sing at all or that I didn't know two of the songs that we were singing, all that mattered was that I was truly worshiping the One true God. After that, yeah I knew I had a busy week ahead, but it was more bearable because my passion and desires weren't for me but for God.

Killing the Flesh

It's crazy how sometimes we think we know everything, but in reality we are absolutely way off base. We go through are daily lives thinking that everything is perfectly normal and that we have it all figured out. We don't need help, we are capable of doing it all on are own. Man are we wrong. Do you ever question your salvation, especially when you have that one sin in your life that, no matter how hard you try to force it, no matter what you try to put in its place, it just will not go away. Do you ever think, "Hey maybe I don't really know what I think I know about Jesus?" All these thoughts have been going through my mind lately. I'm trying to figure out ways to raise five thousand dollars to go to Germany this summer. I'm just getting used to living on my own, away from my parents, in some strange town. I'm trying to keep up my grades, so that I can stay in college. I'm trying to make new friends and keep up with my old ones. I'm trying to live this christian life as best I know how to, even when I know that I am going to mess up. But then it hits me. As I am trying to sleep after another long day of pondering what I should do next. It really isn't even about me. It's about a God that loves me unconditionally. It's about a God that is so jealous for glory that he waits until the exact time we need him most, to come and whisper in our ear: "Be still and know that I am God." I don't always understand everything. I don't want to most of the time but I serve a King who is taking care of it all. That's what this past couple of weeks has been about for me. Yeah I still don't know how I am going to come up with five thousand dollars for this summer. Yeah I still have to get used to college life. Yeah it's going to be tough sometimes, but through it all we just have to have faith that God who became fully human and was still fully God, that came and die on a cross with my name on his heart, has everything under control.